EPIC {{arts & entertainment}}

Imagine you’re at the bar. (Not 21? Don’t care. You’re at a bar.) You’re just taking a break after dancing your ass off when you are approached by six, strapping young fellows — one of which is wielding a flute.

Excited? You should be.

These six men are Gentlemen Hall. Collectively, they are one of Boston’s biggest upcoming bands, and they are taking you on a date. After a few quick questions (and listening to their jams), you’ll learn almost everything you need to know about them, you’ll dig it, and you’ll go home with them tonight.

——

Q: How did you guys get together?
GH: We all met within the last six years in college (Berklee College of Music) and started toying around with the idea of forming a band in the past two. The eventual lineup was settled on within about five months. It was all downhill from there.

Q: Describe your band in 3 words – no more, no less.
GH: Ballistic, bilingual, balls.

Q: Your band has a collective iPod, but it only has enough space for 5 artists. Who are they? Do any of these bands or artists influence your band’s sound?
GH: Prince, Q-Tip, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Parliament, Bone Thugs n’ Harmony. Definitely all have influenced us in one way or another.

Q: Who are you making music for? Who do you consider your “target audience”?
GH: We make our music for anyone who likes to dance and have a good time. Our target audience is fly ladies who dig flute, booze, and guys in bands.

Q: When that audience sees your band live, what do you want them to walk away with?
GH: Our CD, sore feet, an eventual hangover, merchandise, a mind blown to bits, us, mass text messages to their friends proclaiming how great we are, Facebook statuses proclaiming how great we are.

Q: If your music had a physical manifestation, what would it be?
GH: A big pink robot with a top hat.

Q: As a band, what has your biggest accomplishment been so far?
GH: Winning the title of “MTV’s Best Boston Breakout Artist 2009.”

Q: Where do you see yourselves a month from now, a year from now, five years from now? Is that where you want to be?
GH: A month from now, starting up the recording on our debut full-length. A year from now, on tour. Five years from now, rubbing our Grammys in people’s faces. That is definitely where we would like to be.

Q: What is your idea of success? When do you get to say, “Yeah, we made it”?
GH: World tour with those Grammys.

Q: Is there a message or theme to what you do?
GH: “Free your mind and your ass will follow.” – George Clinton

——

Tomorrow morning, when you’re sneaking away from Gentlemen Hall’s bedside, don’t call it a “walk of shame.” In fact, go ahead and give yourself a high-five.

On the Crunk Kids Tour we not only had a chance to catch up (albeit briefly) with brokeNCYDE but also with the frontman of Blood On The Dance Floor. Trying to snag some time with the flamboyant and energetic Dahvie Vanity was one of the more difficult tasks. Flocks of little girls occupied his time and if one thing could be said it was that after their performance his time became completely about the fans. There hardly seemed a second when photographs were not being taken or tshirts were not being signed. It wasn’t until curfews hit and moms’ vans had finally pulled away that there was the least bit of down time. With the night at a close, we caught up with Dahvie to discuss recent changes in Blood On The Dance Floor, the feel good party movement, and their next album.

—

Hi, I’m Dahvie Vanity and I represent Blood On The Dance Floor! BOTDF was started by me who was keyboardist, guitarist. I started writing songs on guitar first then on keyboards. I’ve always been a very eccentric and different artist so I’ve always— I just one day started writing a song and got in the groove. It just kind of metaphorically took its own skin and became what it is. It’s a huge representation of what I am. Yes, I’m a sex addict and problematic. But, I will be your brand new habit.

Speaking of… if your music had a form what would it be?
If my music had a form…
Like, physical?
I think my music would be like good hot sex. It’s fun. It’s pleasurable. You’ll really get into it and it’ll make you feel good. That’s a positive way of looking at it.

When can BOTDF fans expect another full length album?
Right now we’re making a huge third album. It’s going to be great. I think we’re going to have brokeNCYDE on there, Jeffree Star. We got some pretty big names that are going to be on it. It’s gonna be epic so we’re excited. The direction we’re going for is more like raver. It’s going to be more raver hip hop but we’re going to go a little more dark glam, too. We’re going to keep it.
So the new song… is that like a little taste?
Horrifically Delicious… like every song is different. I don’t really go in there trying to make the same song. I think there’s a lot of songs where we can’t really give out spoilers. I don’t want to ruin the excitement. A lot of it is going to be about sex, partying, just living it up and meaningful songs on there, too. We’re going to try to experiment with some new stuff in there, too, but the majority of it is going to be that BOTDF you love but a different switch up. So, fans, expect all the good songs you fell in love with and more on this album.

What is the writing process like?
I have a laptop. I have a little notepad in my room. I just kind of go in there and think of a flow, I’ll hear the beat and write everything on guitar then I’ll hear the beat and I kind of just let go. That’s where I really go to my zone. That’s how I pretty much write all my songs. I get on my laptop, express all my feelings. I really get into my performance and stuff like that. And I really don’t give a fuck what people think or say. I just do whatever makes me happy.

Why hasn’t BOTDF signed with a label yet? There’s been a lot of buzz recently.
Every label it’s about that evil thing. I think a lot of labels can hurt or break a band or make a band. We just want to make sure the label that we sign to will make this band bigger and better and expand it and reach a bigger audience. But at the same time be coherent with the vision and dreams that we want. We want to make sure that it’s larger than life. That’s really what we want BOTDF to be like.
So for now you’re going to take the more DIY approach and continue to release yourselves?
Yeah. I mean it’s so much more personal. It’s more down to earth with the fans. I don’t want to be like, okay, we do a big concert thing and stuff like that. I want to do something big like KISS. You know how they’re about the fans but they’re still doing big audience types of concerts.
Giant productions.
Huge on production but it’s still for the fans and stuff like that.
Do you feel everything being online and more digitized has helped you maintain that DIY edge?
Yes. I mean, we’re a different breed of band and I don’t really look at our band as a band. I kind of look it as a movement. Like a really positive party movement. I think the internet has definitely helped us crucially. I don’t think we would be where we’re at now without the internet. It’s definitely got us out there.

When kids leave a Blood On The Dance Floor show, like tonight, what do you want them to walk away with?

I want them to walk away with a little bit of PMA. A little bit of positive mental attitude. And more importantly, we’re here to take away your pain. We’re here to be your escape. I’ve found that’s the most important thing. We want to make sure everyone leaves with a little bit of hope, a little piece of faith, little bit of positive energy and a little bit of ‘fuck, I’ve just had the best sex of my life’.

How do you define making it and at what point will you know that Blood On The Dance Floor has made it? Or have you?

I think fuck what we’re doing right now playing three to four hundred kid shows. Kids singing the lyrics and me just putting out the mic and kids singing along and I think in my heart I feel like we’ve made it. I really feel like we’ve reached a lot of kids and a lot of people. Not just kids, everybody. And I think the most important part is keeping the good feeling. A lot of fans tell us ‘hey man, we listen to your songs and I feel good about myself. I feel really good,’ and I just want to keep that up. I want to keep that energy going.

If all of this ended tomorrow what would be the thing you valued the most from this experience and what would be your biggest regret?

Just let everyone, all my fans, all my family and friends that I love you forever and always and after. I hope my love and my music hits everybody and I hope it makes everybody smile gigantically and just live your life. Live it up to love it up. And you know just keep your love pure.

If you could plan the most epic tour who would be on it and what would you call it?
It would be us. I’d probably bring Jeffree Star on there and probably Lady Gaga. I would call it the… ah man. Takes me kind of awhile to think of these things. I’d probably call it the Most Epic Fucking Concert of Your Life Ever. It would be the most glammed up craziest show you’d ever fucking go to.
I don’t think there are enough adjectives for what it would be.

Yeah, exclamation point exclamation exclamation exclamation.

How has the crunk kids been thus far?
Shit, there hasn’t been like one worst moment. Like… you’ve heard of the disaster tours I’ve done. This tour is so much more professional. The bands we’re working with are all so positive and it’s like one big huge family and the bad moments might be something like security guards. Security at some of the venues, I think they just need to get a little crunk and a little loose and maybe they’ll chill out. You know shit it’s been more positive. I love my new family. I love all the bands we’re touring with. I love my new band members. I love my new drummer and screamer. I love everything and right now I’m just in a love mood. I can’t hate life right now. I’m so fortunate and grateful.

In the past month or so there’s been a lot of drama surrounding Blood On The Dance Floor. Looking back on things now, do you wish you had handled things differently or do you wish that you could have changed the way things could have gone?
Shit, I think I handled things amazingly. I kept my maturity, I kept my professionalism. I really can’t stop people from slandering my name like defamation of character you know… I could sue the mother fucker I could send him to jail but I have a life. I don’t dwell on the past. Like I said, anybody can go on youtube or go on the internet and post negative things about you and say you’re this or say you’re that. It’s hollywood. You know? Everyone’s going to hate you or love you. When the fans meet me they know I’m a good person and shit like that so you know I don’t give a fuck. It’s like go ahead and make me famous, you know what I mean? That’s how I look at it. Make a

rumor and sense of humor. I look at it like you’re putting my name in your mouth. You’re advertising me so thank you!

If you could say one thing to Garrett right now what would it be?
Uh, Mr. STD. Like I said, I have a life. So I don’t need to dwell on that.

Do you feel the lineup change will help to evolve Blood On The Dance Floor’s sound?
Shit, you heard us tonight! We sounded better than ever, right? Better than ever. Like I said, I wrote all the songs I sing them all. Shit. Blood on the Dance Floor has never changed. It’s always been me. I’ve always been the focal point of it. I’ve always been the write and creator.

What do the new members bring to the table?

The new members bring new song writing and new live show action. The cool thing is there’s more of a live show involved right now. It’s not just the laptop thing. It’s becoming more of a live show. That’s where I want Blood On The Dance Floor to go. I think you’re going to see keyboardists eventually, you’re going to see it evolving more. It’s going to be more of a big live production thing. More dancers. More crazy lights. More action. Jay actually brings a lot of writing. A lot of amazing epic lyrics and stuff like that. He actually helped me write Horrifically Delicious. It’s epic, I mean shit. I’m so happy. Actually I wish this would have been Blood On The Dance Floor from the beginning. I’m that confident. You heard it tonight, fucking on board. This was how it was supposed to be. I mean, Im the main attraction but now it’s kind of going kind of 50/50 with Jay. And Nick. I kind of feel like it’s a triangle now. It’s really bad ass. Loving it.

Autotune is becoming more and more prominent among bands live and while we know it’s been long practiced on albums, it almost is becoming a clutch. What are your feelings on it?
It’s like when you write a song, whatever best fits a song. I look at it like I’m a very open minded person so it’s kind of like I think too much autotune is fucking annoying. I think a little bit of it is just right. It depends on the song.

…Sorry I just lost my train of thought.
Lol.
Lol. Jk. Cut That. Do you think the whole practice redefines the parameter of who can be a live performer or is it just another means?

It’s just another creative means. Like I said, fuck, it’s exciting. Music wants to always be progressive and things like that so you don’t always want to use the same things. You can switch it up. Like the album we’re working on right now? There’s a little bit of autotune but not much. Just a little bit. I actually like a little bit of the hip hop vocal settings on there. That’s fun for the background.

If your music was my exboyfriend why did we break up?
I broke up by cumming on your face and telling you to go fuck yourself you can die get hit by a bus, thank you bye! I love to be obscene.

If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?
Keep the band that I have now and keep fucking rocking out.

Any final messages?

Hey, we’re the fans band. I love my fans. Haters, keep sucking my dick and make me famous. And like I said man, haters made us famous. Thank you. To the fans, we love you guys. You know we’re about you guys. We try to take every picture, sign every autograph. WE love you mwaaaah. And no seriously, expect exciting things coming up. We love you. Expect the new Blood On The Dance Floor out summer 2010. Expect singles coming out. Expect collaborations. Expect possibly Warped Tour. WE are aiming for Warped Tour. I think we’re going to have a slip-n-slide on there. No rocks at the end so no bloody slip-n-slide. Like I said, the goal is… it’s not a band it’s a movement. Keep the positive engery. That’s what we’re about. Embrace your dreams and live by your honor. That’s from Final Fantasy.

—

Though the new line-up for Blood On The Dance Floor may still be in the honey moon phase, the energy and on stage performance is phenomenal. With the Crunk Kids tour under their belt and big plans for 2010, BOTDF promises to be that catchy guilty pleasure you are not going to get out of your head any time soon.

Be sure to keep up to date with BOTDF. Their new song, Horrifically Delicious is available for download on iTunes now.

The Crunk Kids Tour came crashing through Massachusetts on October 13, 2009. Held in the small upstairs of the Worcester Palladium, I have hardly seen girls with their love sharpied across their face for any particular band since the Backstreet Boys were breaking hearts circa early 2000. And yet there they were all of twelve or thirteen with BC13 scribbles across cheeks and arms and foreheads decked out in their neon attire, hot topic tutus, bumpits and hair glue just waiting to dance and scream their hearts out to brokeNCYDE. Fog poured from the smoke machine until the room was choked with it, the multicolored lights seemed to get lost in it, trapped and helpless to shoot every which way dispersed by it. Then the gyrating, screaming, thriving mass had settled and the music stopped, brokeNCYDE left the stage to one of the loudest “one more song, one more song,” chants I’ve heard in a long time. And they got their one more song. Having witnessed the whole thing, I left the Crunk Kids Tour that night only a little bit wiser about what exactly “crunkcore” was and the band that invented it. Earlier in the evening, I had the opportunity to have a few words with brokeNCYDE’s MIKL in the women’s restroom discussing everything from the more prominent use of autotune during live performances to all the things he just didn’t care about.

How did you come up with the name brokeNCYDE and bc13 as an abbreviation?

Mike: Went through a hard time and brokencyde—we’re broke inside. And BC 13 was just an abbreviation I guess.

What exactly is “crunkcore?”

Mike: We keyed the term and it’s just about having fun. Getting  crazy.

If your music had a physical form what would it be?

Mike: Probably alcohol.

When kids come see brokeNCYDE what do you want them to walk away with?

Mike: Just a smile. Having fun.

What was the deciding factor in signing with Suburban Noize Records?

Mike: They’re just cool people and they wanted to work with us.

Were there talks with other labels?

Mike: Yes. I don’t know. It just happened for a reason I guess.

I’m not a fan but the kids like… how did you come up with the name?

Mike: It’s a slap in the face to the industry and anyone who doesn’t believe in us.

It broke Billboard’s top 100 when it debuted so the kids did like it…  but there were a lot of negative reviews about the album—how did it make you feel?

Mike: I don’t care.

What do you think makes the music or your band so controversial? People talk shit for a lot of reasons.

Mike: We’re blunt and say the way it is. People don’t like it.

What song on the album bests sums up brokeNCYDE?

Mike: Get Crunk.

What have been the best and worst moments of touring over the past year?

Mike: Nothing bad, you know? And the best is just being able to tour and connect with people.

On some of the tours [in the past year] there have been negative comments about brokeNCYDE by other bands. How does that affect the tour environment?

Mike: We don’t care what people say. It’s not going to stop us. They have their right to their own opinion.

Whats next for brokeNCYDE?

Mike: More tours and another album. Who knows?

Have you started writing?

Mike: Yeah, we’re working on it.

How will you know when you have made ‘it’?

Mike: I have no idea.

Wake up with a million dollars?

Mike: Uh I have no idea.  Just live.

If you could plan out the ultimate tour who would be on it and what would it be called?

Mike: I don’t know the name of it but I’d want to tour with 3OH!3, Hollywood Undead,  Innerpartysystem, and Breathe Carolina.

Many bands are using autotune as a clutch during live performances. Do you feel it takes away from the show or adds to it?

Mike: Its just something new. Not new to music but its more commonly used. There’s always phases, and we’re probably just a phase, too. Hopefully not, but you know what I mean? Music is art. And art is always different so you’re either going to like it or hate it.

Your music is my exboyfriend. Why did we break up?

Mike: I don’t know—probably partying.

Infidelity?

Mike: I don’t know. Craziness.

If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing what would it be?

Mike: What the fuck did I get myself into? It’s just one wild ride.

Any messages for the fans or haters?

Mike: Haters we really don’t care about at all. They don’t bother us. And our fans: just that we love them more than anything. You know, we live for them.

Final thoughts or comments?

Mike: No. I’m just tired.

Thanks for taking the time and I’m sorry we got you up!

Mike: It’s cool. It’s cool.

Over the past five years the world has seen Rockstar Taste of Chaos play everywhere from the US to Japan to New Zealand. A self-proclaimed “lifestyle” festival tour, fans throughout the UK and Europe can expect another onslaught for the latter part of 2009 in to the beginning of 2010 from Taste of Chaos. And this year there are some pretty frigging brutal bands going out on the road. Finally, the lineup for the RTOC tour have been announced.

IN FLAMES
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
EVERY TIME I DIE
MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER
DEAD BY APRIL

DATECITY/VENUECOUNTRY
  
27/11/2009 GLASGOW / ACADEMY UK
28/11/2009 BRISTOL / ACADEMY UK
30/11/2009 NEWCASTLE ACADEMY UK
01/12/2009 BIRMINGHAM / ACADEMY UK
02/12/2009 MANCHESTER / ACADEMY UK
03/12/2009LONDON / HAMMERSMITH APPOLLO UK
04/12/2009 ANTWERP / TRIX HALL BELGIUM
06/12/2009BERLIN / COLUMBIAHALLE GERMANY
07/12/2009 WEISBADEN / RHEIN - MAIN -HALLE GERMANY
08/12/2009 MUNICH / ZENITHGERMANY
09/12/2009 OBERHAUSEN / TURBINEHALLE GERMANY
11/12/2009 STOCKHOLM / HOVET SWEDEN
12/12/2009 GOTHENBURG / SCANDANAVIUM SWEDEN
13/12/2009 OSLO / SPEKTRUM NORWAY
14/12/2009 MALMO / ARENA SWEDEN
16/12/2009 HELSINKI / ICEHALL FINALND

Bands performing in the UK,
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
IN FLAMES
EVERY TIME I DIE
MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER
Special Guests
 
Bands performing in Scandinavia include:
IN FLAMES
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
DEAD BY APRIL
EVERY TIME I DIE
MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER
Special Guests
 
Belgium and Germany include:
IN FLAMES
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
EVERY TIME I DIE
MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER
Special Guests

ROCKSTAR Energy Drink will continue to be the title sponsor of the 2009 tour and will be sampling their products, as well as coming up with some great surprises for attendees. Ernie Ball will be a sponsor on the tour as well.
 
Having already spawned multiple soundtrack CD’s and a live DVD, Rockstar Taste Of Chaos, like its summer sibling the Van’s Warped Tour, it’s only getting bigger and better, offering fans the opportunity to see their favorite bands as well as take part in a number of activities including attending autograph signing sessions and a slew of interactive fan activities that will add to the experience.

So if you’re looking for any good music next week (say, oh, Tuesdayish) I’m going to have to recommend that the LOVEHATEHERO album be among those you consider purchasing. AMERICA UNDERWATER boasts a big, clean sound of anthemic proportions and some of the most developed vocal melodies I’ve heard in the past few years. Don’t let that throw you off, though. LOVEHATEHERO has not completely forgone a heavier sound— there’s a peppering of thrashing and a smattering of throat on AMERICA UNDERWATER as well.

The melodic and almost dainty opening of Saints and Sinners— the first track of the album— is a bit of a throw off. Unexpected and skeptical as those first few seconds were (don’t get me wrong, it was good but not what I had imagined as an intro), it was followed with mildly thrashing guitars and a strong pop punch that takes the listener straight into the song. As much as I must commend the song writing, the lyrics are also deep enough to take note while not flowery, forced or false and the listener is hit with the truth of, “there’s no such thing / as a saint without a history / or a sinner without a future.” Take it to the bridge and a sudden onslaught attack of guitars shredding does not eave the song unexciting or too perfectly produced to be palpable.

What strikes while listening to the first four or five tracks of the album, is that while the songs are clean cut and perfectly mixed, the longest lasting impression is how big and full the sound is. LOVEHATEHERO has skillfully crafted a very full, multilayered sound, with each bit weaving intricately yet in such a way as to be complimentary with other melodies overlaying it. My advice: AMERICA UNDERWATER is an album to be sat back and soaked in, sound for sound and melody for melody to fully experience and appreciate the craftsman ship of the songs. At times it was hard to focus on lyrics, though the vocals are powerful and provoking, the words themselves at times seem less important than the sounds. A second go ‘round with the lyrics and there’s nothing disappointing— they, too, lend to the overall power. In You’ll Never Know, Pierrick strongly asserts, “I’m inadequate,” which fortunately, the song is not. There’s an honest and no-bullshit approach to the lyrics as seen in the slightly rougher Think Twice, “it’s easy / I miss you.”

As complimentary and compelling as the opening of AMERICA UNDERWATER is, there was a moment where I feared that redundancy might set in. As big of a fan as I am to the full sound and the polished pieces— the hooks are polished and catchy and jesus, the bankd wasn’t kidding when they said they wrong “complete songs”— there needed to be something a little bit different to keep the pace of the album going and enjoy the listening. Enter Echoes, the heavier anthem taking a break from the previously clean sound that somehow still manages to be slightly polished. The chugging guitars and bass kick off after a brief introduction. Though heavier, it still maintains that stuck in your head quality the other songs also share.

LOVEHATEHERO, though taking risks with this new sound, does fall short a few time. Out of the ten tracks the least interesting falls somewhere around Come and Get It. The heavier hit of the song is still not nearly as complex or interesting as it leaves the listener wanting it to be and though it breaks up the rock ballad nature of the song with it’s attacking breaks they are not quite fierce enough to make it hit home.

Though working with pop producers with a love for rock music, it does overall improve LOVEHATEHERO’s sound but Procession of Regression proves that that is not always a wonderful thing. There is what I can only describe as some weird choral shit going on in the background and though this in and of itself doesn’t fully take away from the song, when it is noticed it is distracting and slightly out of place. To me, it was completely out of left field, but layered so completely in the big sound the band has accomplished, that it is almost confusing. Subtracting that element would help substantially— sorry LOVEHATEHERO, just because you’re going for an anthemic album doesn’t mean you should try quite so hard. Your effort was showing and it made it way less enjoyable. On the plus side, Procession of Regression does boast some nice effects and some powerful breaks. I just really wanted to delete that choral shit from existence.

So what’s the track that’s going to have you dancing? Pants off Dance Off. Hands down. This song speaks for itself. And doesn’t the title come from like that show that happened for a hot second once upon a time ago? If not, it’s still pretty reminiscent. Pants could definitely be taken off. Or if not, little girls might get some training bras off.

If the beginning of AMERICA UNDERWATER is a delicate yet strong threading, the ending is the unexpected uppercut. The complexity of the craftsmanship increases leaving the listener to soak in the layering, more compelling guitars and strong backing vocals. Overall, LOVEHATEHERO bat as close to a homerun as a band can possibly get having recrafted their sound so completely in the process of finding themselves. With definitive radio friendly hits, it leaves me wondering what ones might be making their ways to possible top 40 radio with a little bit of luck and help. A number of the tracks have more mainstream potential.

On Brand New Eyes, Paramore might have gotten around to taking off their training wheels, but they only have scraped knees to show for it.

The band’s third studio album is their most mature effort yet. However, I’m not convinced that Paramore (particularly frontwoman Hayley Williams) has the chops or drive to reach post-pubescence. Technically, the playing has improved. The guitars in particular have been refined and speak to guitarist Josh Farro’s developing skills. No, they haven’t made musical leaps and bounds, but Paramore offer up more than power chords. It’s a shame that Williams’ lyrics and voice had nothing to contribute.

Brand New Eyes, to my understanding of the hype, was intended to be the band’s most personal record to date. Williams’ voice just lacks the emotion to make me believe that. When she sings “I’d never trade it in/’Cause I’ve always wanted this” on “Looking Up,” I don’t buy it; her emotionless delivery on “The Only Exception”, a love song, makes me think she doesn’t even believe in love. Either she sings with absolutely no conviction, or the Auto-Tune just distracts heavily from it.

During the writing process, Williams admitted to “internal issues” within the band. This comes as no surprise when listening to the resulting record. It might be awkward to listen to a singer who doesn’t believe in her own lyrics, but it’s downright uncomfortable when the band behind her actually seems to care.

“Ignorance” is the one song on which the band comes together. Ironically enough, it’s also the only point on Brand New Eyes where Paramore sticks to its roots. Williams’ voice isn’t edited to sound uncharacteristically feminine, and fans and critics alike could have predicted the riffs that drive the song.

It’s alright, Paramore. I didn’t take ditch the training wheels until I was thirteen. You have a while to go but plenty of time. — L.

——

For titling an album BRAND NEW EYES there was nothing new to see about PARAMORE’s latest album. I would say ‘hear’ but that would imply actually listening and was something I wholly forgot I was doing time and time again. Normally I’d love to give a breakdown of songs that stood out as hits, misses, and had-potential-but-didn’t-quite-pull-throughs except that BRAND NEW EYES was so stagnant and unimpressive the only impression I was left with was that while the guitar playing may have neatened itself up a little bit they threw on autotune, diddled a bit with Williams’ voice (as in every second of the entire album), doodled out ‘lyrics’ with crayons, and proceeded to string together the most incomprehensible uninspired thing to ever be deemed an album. Part of me is still completely convinced that Williams managed to get through the entire album without actually singing, at least until she finally belted for a few seconds All I Wanted Was You. And like a misplaced period it simply end.s

PARAMORE was single handedly— and quite artfully, I must say— able to write, record, and release an album that not only fails to evoke, but is completely devoid of, emotion. Being able to so completely craft something I couldn’t even pretend to have feelings about one way or the other (I don’t like it, I don’t hate it, fuck I don’t even remember it) is truly impressive. So props to you PARAMORE for your less than lackluster album BRAND NEW EYES. — H.

So word on the street is that Buzznet is hosting a contest for a lucky sucker or suckerette to win an autographed guitar from the guys of lovehatehero in promotion for their new album. For a chance to win the signed ESP LTD Guitar you can head on over to
http://www.buzznet.com/cp/lovehateheroespcontest . The deadline to enter is 9th October and winners will be announced via email.

1 GRAND PRIZE WILL RECEIVE:
- An Autographed ESP LTD M-100FM.
- A copy of the new album America Underwater.

1ST RUNNER UP:
- Will win the LoveHateHero catalog.

2ND AND 3RD RUNNER UP:
- Will win a copy of the new album America Underwater.

Oh yeah, did we forget to mention that lovehatehero has a new album dropping this month? Ferrett Records will drop lovehatehero’s American Underwater on September 29th.

Reading Festival opened it’s gates on Wednesday 26th evening to thousands of happy campers completely stoked on three days of pure live music and partying in fields, that for the most part of the year act as a livestock farm but for these few days they serve as camping grounds an a place to get fucked up and have an all round good time for those lucky enough to get their hands on a weekend ticket for this festival. However, I’d be here all year if I was going to attempt to write about every band that played (plus it wasn’t physically possible to watch all of the bands on the line-up) so instead, you get a review of a select few of the bands that I actually paid attention to.

Friday kicked off to the sounds of Manchester Orchestra on the Radio 1/NME stage and from the point of view of somebody who saw them play a 200 capacity venue two and a half years ago, to see them play to a few thousand people was pretty damn wonderful, especially since Andy Hull in true form with his giant beard was pouring his heart and soul into the performance, though they didn’t really play any old songs, or well, none that I recognised from I’m Like a Virgin Losing a Child, the band’s debut album (though being fair, they had only played the festival two years before and possibly covered all of that back then) but you could tell they were genuinely enjoying themselves, especially the moment the broke out into I’ve Got Friends. You couldn’t possibly pick flaws from their set, especially given that they’re a band that aren’t quite so well known in the UK and their set time was 12:45pm, and really, that was probably when people were starting to roll out of their tents.

Next up were Funeral For a Friend gracing the mainstage and though their set was plagued with problems, they made the very most of it. Basically, a few songs into their set and the rain wasn’t letting up (not that it was severe, but apparently Britain can’t deal with a few drops) and the power cut out. So much to the bands despair they hung around the stage for a little while trying to figure out what the fuck was going, and walked off leaving the drummer to keep the crowd entertained with some drumfills while they sorted out whatever problems had arisen. And though they had to cut their set a few songs short, it was almost godlike when the sun began to shine again for the band and the equipment all finally began to work. Though to be honest, Matt’s hick mustache and mullet hair is starting to worry me.

Taking the mainstage right after Funeral For a Friend were Fall Out Boy and if I’m completely honest, I was peaking drunk point at this moment in time, but I enjoyed it all the same. Even though they had to deal with all of the problems regarding Patrick Stump’s arrest and what have you, the proceeded to make a joke out of it, not even skirting around the subject when Patrick Stump piped up with “I went to jail!” and Pete refering to Stump’s experience as his “dream come true.” They had the crowd laughing, even those that were waiting for the next band on stage, and even those that were ripping into people that were waiting to watch Fall Out Boy. Overall, they were impressive, and honestly, after seeing their performance I can’t really dislike Wentz much anymore, even if he acts more like a chimp in person than on screen.

After this it was a trundle over to the Lock Up stage where you could catch Anti Flag doing their bit. And honestly, this was one of the highlights of the weekend for me, but that might have just been because I’d been waiting years to see them after having vivid memories of being a preteen and playing playstation to the sounds of this band. And even if on my way into the tent I heard shouts of “let Billy Talent on already” it just started to amuse me of the fact that people can’t appreciate a good punk band every now and then. But it was nice to see a band so humbled to be on a stage following bands like Leftover Crack and The Bouncing Souls who were there from the beginning, dispelling all of the “sexism, racism, and homophobic bullshit”. Still they joked around with the crowd, making jokes out of people on the front row with their hat turned to the side by saying things as “I’m sorry sir but I feel that if you can’t put your hat on the right way I don’t feel like you can count to four. So we gotta practice it.” Knowing full well that he’d be wrong and offering him a “kiss on the mouth” for an apology.

Friday was meant to be wrapped up watching Kings of Leon, but apparently, Reading Festival and Kings of Leon were something that was not going to get along well. A band that are known for their volatile relationship and a lead singer that likes a good drink every now and then but stops himself on stage to avoid from puking went back on their word. Caleb was out of his tree and drinking on stage and the band were completely cold and rude towards the audience. One big problem I’ve gained over the past few days is the way in which Kings of Leon behaved, it’s easy to expect that if you release two absolutely huge songs that people are going to want to hear them (especially when all you could hear in the campsites on the build up to their sets was people singing Sex on Fire), and you can’t exactly fill your set with album tracks when you’re a headlining act to a crowd of potentially tens of thousands of people and Followill lashed out to the crowd shouting things like “We know you’re sick of Kings of Leon. We’re fucking sick of Kings of Leon too. But we get up here every night and I thank God for everything I’ve had. So for all those who don’t give a fuck about us, I understand. But we’ve worked hard to be here. We’re the goddamn Kings of Leon, so fuck you.” And come on, you’re the last band on the bill, every single person in your crowd was there to see nobody but you. And leaving the stage after smashing your guitars and flipping the bird to all of those that actually bothered to stay after you blazed them, you can expect that to be damage that won’t be repaired. And really when you saw market stalls with signs on them with ‘without the uk public you’d be fucking cows in deserts’ following their set, you can tell just how annoyed people were with them.

So ‘Fuck the Kings of Leon’ was one of the chants that could be heard from the Lock Up stage whilst Billy Talent had taken the stage, and though they were shaky at the beginning of the set (though its unsurprising when a vocalist can sound so much like a screaming girl on disc) it took a while for them to warm up, and one thing I learned during this set was Rusted From The Rain is a much more intense track live than it is on the album, but the highlight of this set for me was the moment Anti Flag’s Justin Sane joined the stage for Turn Your Back. Even Kowalewicz pointed out the difference between the States and Britain when it comes to live music, and how much more the British public enjoy it. Really this night set the tone for the weekend, every single band on the bill enjoyed their time on stage (except for Kings of Leon but obviously, that’s a whole other story).

Saturday had to be my favourite day of them all, three of my favourite bands, who by the way, are all British, graced the stages, though it seemed to be a very British orientated day on the mainstage, with the only real exception being Mariachi El Bronx (also known as The Bronx, for those of you who didn’t know). Plus, that mustache on the stage while Mariachi El Bronx were playing, was pretty astounding.

For a band that had so much trouble cracking the UK public to actually pay attention to them, Fightstar proved themselves. No longer being showered with bottles because ‘that’s one of the dudes from Busted’ (that obnoxious boppy teen popband that the Jonas Brothers seem to adore so much) and no longer joked about, they had their slot on the mainstage at 12:45 and made the most of it. Getting one of the biggest pits of the whole weekend, even if you weren’t near the circle pit you knew it was going on, with the way people were kicking up dust and how completely mental people were going, it was awesome, especially how they ended on Deathcar (one of those songs that you don’t want to be anywhere near the pit for in case of actually sustaining a serious injury). Though I will say, if you want to go to a Fightstar show, make sure it’s in a smaller venue, that way you get the full effect and every single person is involved.

Enter Shikari had to be the highlight of the weekend. Honestly, if you have the chance to see this band, it isn’t something you miss out on. Those that were lucky enough to have charge in their phone and look at twitter that morning were those that were lucky enough to know about the “intimate” secret acoustic show they were doing at 2:00pm on the BBC introducing stage. With an acoustic performance of Juggernauts and No Sleep Tonight, it was interesting to see how such a loud and rowdy band can strip their songs down to be played to a small audience in an acoustic way. And the highlight of this set, especially for me, was how the band finished on Adieu, the song that brings Take To The Skies back down to earth. Their mainstage performance was however, slightly less tame, and I’m pretty sure they were as loud as humanly fucking possible. With pits breaking out left right and centre and the arena jam packed, you’d never see a band quite so happy to be right where they were, playing classic crowd pleasers like No Sssweat and the not so tame versions of No Sleep Tonight and finishing on Juggernauts, which was complete mayhem, especially when Chris piped up asking the crowd to “break the record for the most number of people crowdsurfing over the barriers”. And I’m pretty sure that the stewards had not worked that hard in all of their life, with half of the people with their feet in the air and half of the crowd throwing them towards the barriers, you can just see how ridiculous it was if you search for the video on youtube. They are, completely and truly, a band that you do not miss live.

The Blackout are one of my favourite bands to see live, mainly because they don’t care who they offend, with Sean Smith telling everybody to “get inside the tent you big gays” and dedicating a song “to everybody in the tent with a vagina”, if you can’t take a joke and you’re easily offended by shit like that, then they’re probably not the band for you, but for a band that came out of a tiny little village in Wales that once upon a time nobody had ever heard of, Methyr Tydfil, they’re loud and they’re obnoxious but that is honest to God why we love them. Especially with the way they’d mock their friends bands referring to Lostprophets as old men and claiming that their backs were starting to go, and shouting and raving about how Josh Franchesci of You Me at Six thought he was just too good to go and join them on stage for one song and grace that little crowd jammed in the Festival Republic tent. Sean Smith and Gavin Butler make a pretty astounding duo when they take to that stage, taking it in turns to mock the crowd and get the crowd to do stupid shit like crouch onto the floor as low as possible and jump after the building up to a chorus, which is slightly easier in a venue setting I will admit. But they ended the night on “I’m a Riot, You’re a Fucking Riot.” Which was true facts, everybody in that tent was a fucking riot.

Sunday was started off to Kids in Glass Houses, who had only recently finished a stint of recording their new album in Texas, though really they’re not a massive band, at least not massive enough to play the mainstage, especially when their brethren are playing smaller stages than they, they still loved it. And the crowd (well the crowd that they had at 12:45 in the morning) loved it. Playing all their singles, though that was probably a move only made so those that were there just through pure interest could feel slightly included.

I’d heard mixed opinions about Brand New’s set on the Sunday, some saying that Jesse Lacey had just taken to making animal noises down his microphone and guitar pick ups. But even if I wasn’t completely optimitic about their set I will honestly say that Brand New impressed me, though the moment they started pulling out the new songs I walked away to the bar, but continued to watch from the back on a big screen. His stage presence still isn’t up there, and Jesse Lacey ending the set by slamming his guitar down and simply saying down the microphone “thank you, we’re Brand New” is honestly, well, getting a little old. But ending on You Won’t Know will probably never ever get old. Especially when Vin Accardi hasn’t gone completely nuts being in the presence of Jesse Lacey, and can still put on a good show even if he keeps his mouth shut. Musically, they were perfect, stage presence, not so much.

It was a toss up between Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and The Gaslight Anthem and as much as I would have liked to watch Karen O dance around on stage, watching the Gaslight Anthem just seemed much more promising for a good time. And it was, with Brian Fallon running about all over the place and into the crowd to get giant foam hands and just generally making the most of playing the second biggest stage at this festival it was awesome. They started with a big track and kept the crowd engaged the entire way through the festival, even to stop to make a joke of Brand New, claiming they were nice enough guys bring them “home made cakes all the way from New York….not true but you’ll laugh anyway.” Though I’m half sure that Brian Fallon was pretty drunk through this set, not that it put a dampen on their performance, they were as lively and entertaining as ever.

Lightspeed Champion are one of those bands that are a lot more entertaining live than on CD, especially given that Dev Hynes recorded this album with Conor Oberst, but really it’s without the drugs and the drunkness that used to make Bright Eyes’ shows more appealing. However, Dev Hynes, the guitarist that was once upon a time in the oh so wonderful band Test Icicles was, also, I made my way over to the Festival Republic tent missing the tail end of Bloc Party’s set (their vocalist was pretty wasted even though their performance was astounding). But it was completely worth it, with him asking the crowd to sing along to new songs with lines such as “kill me baby, won’t you kill me” makes me more and more excited for Lightspeed Champions new album, especially when the last album included songs about being wasted and puking in your girlfriends mouth accompanied by videos of ridiculous puppets which made me incredibly uncomfortable along with Dev Hynes’ hair. But he continued to play all the songs that people would know (had they heard of Lightspeed Champion), and they were one of the highlights of my weekend.

Lostprophets were a wonderful way to wrap up the weekend. Anybody with half a braincell would have to agree. The NME tent was rammed full, side to side front to back and was spilling out in every direction from the fact that not everybody could fit in. Though after this weekend I wasn’t feeling too well I watched part from the screen outside, and you still had every ounce of the atmosphere as you did from inside the tent. Ian Watkins is a man that knows how to tame a crowd, and knows exactly what the crowd want to see, even from members of The Blackout joining them for the last couple of songs (though it seemed that Sean Smith kind of got pushed out there and stumbled right into the thick of it) not that he took that as a problem, gracing the stage with his ridiculous thick welsh accent and a “helloooooo”. They didn’t disappoint fans from any generation, from those that followed them from the off, to those that had only jumped on the wagon at Liberation Transmission, you heard songs from Liberation Transmission to Can’t Catch Tomorrow, and there was no possible way this band could go wrong by finishing the weekend to the sounds of Burn Burn, complete with members of their good friends, The Blackout.

So this post only took forever to write out, especially after Firefox got pissed that I badmouthed Kings of Leon and crashed and ate half of my hardwork, but if you want to experience a real music festival, Reading is your best bet. And out of all of the bands I saw this weekend, my top five have to be Enter Shikari, Lostprophets, the Gaslight Anthem, the Blackout and Funeral for a Friend. And I’ll even admit that Fall Out Boy were up there until they got knocked right back down again by three of the bands on that list.